Hail Holy External Drive

Hail, holy 2 TB storage drive, mother of mercy,
Hail keeper of our life’s work, our sweetest digital files,
and our hope of a promotion.

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of
incessant computer crashes;
to thee do we send up our sighs,
mourning and weeping in this
valley of infected and corrupted files.
Turn, then, most gracious defender,
thine repository of mercy toward us;
and after this, our exile,
show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, our files:
O clement, O loving, O sweet 2 TB drive.

Pray for us, O perfect external drive,
That we may be made worthy of thy promises of safety.

Amen.

— an excerpt from Sistertech’s The Book of Uncommon Prayer