For those who spend too much time on Facebook

Now that The Book of Uncommon Prayer is on the market, Sistertech has received even more requests for help. I’ve been trying to figure out whether this is an intended or unintended consequence. Tom, one of my interns, has clocked some serious miles flying back and forth from our Receiving Department delivering requests.

“Sistertech, a lot of the requests have to deal with Facebook,” Tom said.

“I know. I know,” I sighed.  If The One In Charge had asked me about it beforehand, I would have cautioned that Facebook belonged in the category with the tree and Stan.  My thoughts drifted back across the eons to the tree and Stan. It was a shame about Stan’s going over to the Dark Side. Eve should have never listened to him.

“Frankly, Tom, I think Facebook should have been reserved for angels and not humans. I mean, really. Whose bright idea was it to give…”

“But didn’t The One In Charge…,” Tom interjected.

“humans…er, um…eh, (cough-uh-cough)…” A glance at Tom’s puzzled look helped me snap out of it.

“Please Tom. Don’t interrupt. Now, as I was saying. Yes, of course, Tom. Facebook is a gift from The One In Charge. But Facebook requires a great deal of self-control by its users lest it tempt them into spending untold hours in its time-draining, life-sinking, clutches.”

“What are we supposed to do with all these requests for help?” Tom asked.

“Ours is not to question why. Ours is to realize that Facebook is here now.  We’re just going to have to up straighten our halos and deal with the consequences. Humans are starting to get the idea that no matter what predicament they find themselves in the Spirituality While Alive Taskforce (SWAT) is here to help.”

“What prayers shall we offer, Sistertech? I’m not sure I know of any that will help.”

“That’s exactly where our Department comes in, Tom. We’re going to have to compose prayers just for Facebook users who are in need. Try composing one,” I said.

Tom thought for a moment. “We work 24/7 but humans don’t, right?” I nodded in the affirmative. “This means that work is something we do up here at any moment a human pauses to think about it, right?” I again nodded in the affirmative. Tom scribbled a few lines, scratched them out. He thought a bit more and wrote a few lines.

“How’s this prayer, Sistertech?”

It never ceases to amaze me how industrious interns can be. I think for a beginner’s first prayer, Tom’s is a good one. We’ll have to get to work on more prayers, but Sistertech offers you Tom’s as a start.

As above,
so below.
Back to work
now I go.