You might as well know upfront that Sistertech really is an angel. It is rather complicated, but my name is my species: Spiritual Intelligence Systems Technology Evaluation Representative for Theology, Evangelization, Compassion, and Humor. Has a nice ring to it, wouldn’t you say? One hates to gossip, but the names of some of the other angels are downright frightful.
In the course of cosmic events, Sistertech was sent from heaven to give comfort and technical assistance to mortals struggling with computers (and computer users) who have sinned against The One In Charge. In fact, you never know when Sistertech might drop in, which is why you should make it a point to obey her ten commandments. Since “The Ten” sent by The One In Charge were so popular, Sistertech decided to follow the pattern. Why break what isn’t broken? Just between us, she promises her ten are a lot easier to keep than those of The One In Charge.
She used to do office calls au naturele, as they say. But her wings were causing a problem in the cramped cubicle spaces many people inhabit these days. Thus, Sistertech was forced to take up the habit or what you humans call “street clothes”. It has been a win-win situation. Her wings stay neatly folded and fewer office plants and knickknacks fall to the floor. And when she walks into an office, people sit quietly in their Aeron chairs in immaculate posture, typing away as they showcase their best ergonometric skills. It must be my halo that gives me away.
Because of her outstanding work, Sistertech was assigned to lead an elite squad called the Spirituality While Alive Taskforce. By request of The One In Charge, Sistertech embarked upon an ambitious project of compiling a new prayerbook especially for you: The Book of Uncommon Prayer, or “BOUP” for short. Follow that link to read excerpts. The collection of incredibly erudite and poignant prayers has passed beta, and has been tweaked and de-gnarled for the discriminating techie in your life in need of spiritual direction. We hear that the new edition will soon be available on the celestial bookstore which for some reason you all have chosen to call Amazon.com. Odd choice for a name, but Sistertech considers your often bizarre choices to be quite helpful as they do nothing less than keep us angels on our wingtips.
Sistertech absolutely loves hearing from humans seeking advice from Sistertech on sundry issues. She enjoys reading your letters and responds to each one angelically. And if you have a particular need, the prayer for which is not already included in BOUP, or you require a bespoke prayer, feel free to contact my intern, Tom. (He’s been with us about 130 of your years and will be ending his probation in the next 20 years or so.) Tom may be reached at tomtheintern@sistertech.org. We review prayer requests and send them over to the Requisitions Department. However, do note the following (as is detailed in the BOUP Faith FAQ):
Please allow 60 seconds to 60 years for processing. Petitions that require an immediate response of less than one minute automatically bypass the Requisitions Department and are sent directly to The One In Charge for expedited service.
May the blessing of The One In Charge be with you and remain with you always,
Sistertech